This Grinch’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

I learned today, thanks to Facebook memories, that my Mamachanic website is seven years old! Sadly, it has been a bit neglected during the past year maybe because I’ve been writer blocked, not to mention year two of what is now an endemic (meaning never ENDING), two teenagers, a new puppy etc. so here’s a short and sweet one for anyone looking for a quick read.

Trying to work on my website with my new puppy/assistant

I have long been a Grinch, not a little bit but full on scowls at the holidays capital GRINCH. So Grinchy in fact, that this year when my husband surprised me with a puppy, he and my mom had hidden in a “box full of Christmas ornaments” I asked if we could just skip it (the holidays that is) before opening the lid to find the teeniest little black pug I’ve ever fallen in love with!❤️

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It started for me very young, Christmas Day was spent cooking then traveling to large groups at extended relative’s houses where I can only remember cigarette smoke, anger, sweet pickles and football games in the air rather than love. When you grow up on the teenage single mother struggle bus, money is usually an issue and lavish Christmas’ aren’t an option. So the dread that surrounds the holidays, the tightening in my chest as soon as the Halloween high wears off is decades old. I asked my mom around ten years old why we spent the holidays in situations that made us miserable and she agreed so we stopped going to the larger gatherings but the Grinch seed had been sown.

Being a parent during the season with babies, toddlers, or younger children was it own new stress. I found a type of joy in their surprised happy faces on Christmas morning but did I mention to the stress? So many sleepless Christmas Eve nights assembling, wrapping, creating morning magic-the fun was almost swallowed by the stress. Now, having teenagers, it’s not really so much about the wish lists or “opshins” but more about $$$$$$$ C.R.E.A.M.- literally Cash Rules Everything Around Me but it’s certainly less migraine-inducing than the early days.

Honestly, I spend my holidays now with the family I’ve chosen- after years of searching and sitting through tension so I don’t know why I’m still so grinchy. I’m offering some suggestions to find enjoyment in what can be an absolute nightmare time for some.

• Treat Yourself

Seriously, if the pandemic has proven anything, it’s that we are a selfish country/planet. As your number one fan hopefully, you should be treating yourself right. I’ve been going to Christmas markets with my girlfriends joking that we’re only buying stuff for ourselves but honestly I’ve spent years going to the stores buying cute kids clothes (mostly because I hated my body and they way clothes fit me-so it’s much easier to shop for scrawny band aid sprawled limbs) so I’m cool buying things for me, even if it is way too many earrings because they always fit. If I go overboard on massages or whatever I want during December, so be it. Moms like Christmas presents too, especially ones chosen and procured themselves. My husband is obsessed with wanting “actual” presents to wrap and put under the tree whereas I am a gift card lover! I like to have a handful of gift cards splayed like a poker game or better yet, watch this girl Go Fish. He says he can’t wrap gift cards and I disagree. Don’t yuck my yum! Don’t ask me what I want then complain that the answer is gift cards to here, here and here. Which leads me to my next suggestion.

• Don’t Push It

Which can be construed several ways. Don’t push it, like don’t overdue yourself trying to make a holiday “perfect” or trying to please everyONE. Remember #1- ^^^You’re Number one-make SELF CARE a priority.
Also don’t push it, like don’t force the cheer. Everyone celebrates differently, whether it’s weeks of buildup with an extravagant spread or take out food and watching the Die Hard trilogy. It’s been a rough couple of years and some people feel too beaten up to feel festive. Some people could be grieving a loss or simply celebrating a holiday completely different from your own. Another thing, don’t push yourself if this year’s level of cheer is on the low side. When the world is a bit of a dumpster fire, it’s completely normal to feel less Mrs. Claus enthusiastic than in previous years. Beating yourself up over feeling less spirit this year is counter-productive. Embrace your newfound Grinchiness and survive the end of the year anyway possible.

• Ditch the Scale

As previously mentioned, this is not my favorite body but stressing about the tenfold of calories I should maybe avoid is unhelpful and only adds to my Grinchiness. Instead I will gleefully imbibe from Halloween to NYE whatever my heart desires as another present to myself, from au gratin potatoes, to countless dinner rolls and a wonderful variety of Christmas cookies.

I wish there was an age where the teenage insecurities about one’s appearance simply evaporated but if it exists, it’s after 45 because I haven’t reached it yet. I could never quote whatever stupid model said, “Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.” because I’ve never felt skinny but I can certainly testify to plenty of things tasting better than skinny so I say dig in!

• Reimagine Traditions

Not everybody has to have the perfect tree, or attend midnight mass, or spend alternating holidays between his family and yours. Does it spark joy? If not, ditch it! One of the wonderful things about being a GROWN UP is the ability to make better decisions for yourself. If traveling to so and so’s house to tiptoe over touchy topics and eat dried up crudités does not spark joy, stop doing it! Create your own traditions- even if that tradition is not denoting any specialness to the holiday. Or skipping town to skip Christmas on a tropical beach somewhere soaking up rays instead of shivering. Or adding potato chips to the dessert tray for your annual fondue party. Any way that you can find to survive the holidays, do it! I understand, finally!!! that even knowing why I became a Grinch and knowing that I can now celebrate the holidays in whatever fashion I want- I’ll still cover my ears when I hear my first Christmas song(usually in November sadly/soul-crushingly)

I will still feel a pressing weight during the last six weeks of any year. It’s like telling someone with depression to go outside for some non-existent sunshine cure. I will always be at least part Grinch but I’ve decided to EMBRACE it. And as usual, I don’t have all the answers, just a few suggestions I’m trying this year to shake my Grinchy funk. Here’s hoping everyone finds some joy this season !