White Trash Duchess

 

“Everybody knows the world is full of stupid people “

– Banditos,  The Refreshments

I took my children to Monster Jam last weekend, basically a monster truck, four wheeler, quad competition with races, wheelies, and freestyling. Not really my bag but there was a Groupon which is pretty much the best reason we do anything. I consider us city folk though there are four dirt bikes in my shed and we’ve been known to gear up and tear up a track or mountain trail. I’ve heard of the monster truck Gravedigger and I even read in a Facebook post (where I get ALL my news 😉 ) about a recent accident where one of Gravedigger’s drivers was seriously injured trying to back flip the truck. My point is, I’m not a die hard fan of monster trucks but I thought it would be something fun to do with my spoiled rotten kids on a Friday night and Groupon always wins me over.

So we walk in and there’s a wide variety of people there from stereo typical Americans (!) to 20 something parents with 2 to 5 kids in tow, to serious gearheads with their Ford or Chevy T-shirts but one group stood out to me.  I couldn’t tell if they were high school age or millennials in their 20s because at my advanced age everyone looks like a baby faced child to me ?? but these guys were dressed up in cut off overalls, plaid shirts with the sleeves torn off , cowboy hats and boots, and various American flag paraphernalia. One guy even had an actual piece of straw hanging out of his mouth. Basically they were there mocking the fans, mocking what they thought were a bunch of hicks or rednecks coming to see the Monster Jam show and honestly it kind of pissed me off. For some of these people, this is their one “night out” of the year,  for the true fan this is their chance to see their favorite drivers live, maybe even get an autograph , and for almost every kid there this is an exciting fun thing to be at and definitely not something that they thought would make them a target for humiliation. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely guilty of dressing for the occasion. My husband likes to wear homemade robot helmets to see Daft Punk cover bands.

 

 

Last year we took the kids to see Lynyrd Skynyrd (another fantastic groupon deal!!!)  and we took the opportunity to totally dress up like an 70’s or 80’s southern rock band with bandannas,  mullets, cut off jean shorts etc. in an homage to a band we truly love not as a way to make fun of the diehard fans and honestly I hope there is a difference. We even used the picture on our holiday cards.

 

 

 

 

It’s one thing to have a politically incorrect costume on Halloween but this was a truck show in February. Buying a ticket to something you don’t actually have any interest in just so you can go and make fun of all of the fans who do care and were actually there only to have a good time just seems kind of shitty.  As Larry the Cable Guy would say, I might be a redneck but honestly I’m proud of the white trash label, not ashamed. I’m also proud to be raising my children with the ability to spoil them how I want to and with the understanding that it is not ok to look down your nose at ANYONE. Maybe I truly am turning into a “snowflake” after this rotten first month of Trumplethinskin. Maybe having a POTUS who is more concerned with plugging his daughter’s failing Nordstrom clothing line (MADE IN CHINA no less!!!) than healthcare or the goddamn planet is making me a tad irritable but at least he is a proud father?

As a parent, I struggle constantly walking the fine line between raising spoiled rotten kids and wanting my kids to have amazing childhoods, experiencing anything I didn’t .  According to some people, my parenting skills have fallen short but if my children grow up to be the kind of kids that would go to Goodwill and buy Murica! shirts and rip off the sleeves of their plaid flannels just so they can laugh at the fans at a popular event,  I will truly know I have failed.  Those kids are the definition of “ugly Americans” and part of the prime reason why other countries think we’re obnoxious, despise us and probably think we deserve the President less than a third of us elected. Honestly, I think those kids should just stick to the wine tasting or whatever bougie BS they usually do on Friday nights. ????? Sorry (not sorry) for the rant, must be my Monday moodiness. I’ll step off my soapbox now.

“Mother, do you think they’ll drop the bomb?

-Mother, Pink Floyd