My Taste In Music Is Your Face!

Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.  -Vine Deloria, Sioux

       I didn’t really grow up with a whole lot of religion. I think my single Mom was just doing her best to hold down the fort. Sundays were spent cleaning house, preparing for the coming week, or just relaxing and recuperating from the previous week. I was talking with a friend about my Mamachanic classes, how nobody is growing up in the garage with their fathers learning anything about cars anymore. He told me he used to spend Sundays in his garage with his Dad in order to avoid church. Getting yelled at by his father for grabbing the wrong screwdriver was better than sitting through any hellfire and damnation sermon. I didn’t have a father or a garage to escape to when  I was little but I still ended up working on cars and avoiding organized religions.

Hey little girl is your Daddy home? Did he go away and leave you all alone? – Bruce Springsteen I’m On Fire

      My childhood memories regarding religion were a creepy spider shaped church I attended a few times and my best friend’s Mormon mother and the extreme disapproval and judgment  I felt from her. I figured out eventually that Santa and the Easter Bunny were lies so I kind of equated the religious stories I heard to be the same kind of BS. Trying to convince me that one guy is delivering  presents down every chimney in the whole world on one night (especially never having a chimney growing up 😉 ) and also, that one person died for everyone’s sins and rose from the dead like some kind of zombie because someone ate an apple that a talking snake gave them? It all seemed like science fiction or fantasy to me.  My experiences with religion were an eight legged church reminiscent of the villain from Stephen King’s It and knowing my best friend’s Mom and her crazy underwear wearing religion supported her belief that little old white trash me was somehow to blame for her daughter’s doubts and promiscuity.

Cause a disaster’s a disaster no matter what Christian language you drag it through. – Manchester Orchestra Wolves At Night

You can understand why I didn’t embrace religion. I’m not trying to knock the believers. I wish I could believe emphatically  that a higher power is always watching over me, has a plan in mind for me but I don’t have that crutch.

I don’t know much but a crutch is a crutch if it’s holding you from moving on. -Manchester Orchestra Everything to Nothing

I didn’t really have the nuclear family I wanted growing up, so I created my own extended family with the friends I made and the lasting, insanely meaningful relationships we built. Like that family, I sought some kind of spirituality so I created my own, a sort of crutch or at least something to help me through tough times . That has always been music. The first tape I ever owned was George Michael’s Faith. I didn’t really have any faith , in a God or myself , but I found a kind of faith in the lyrics and songs of  my favorite performers.

That’s all you wanted, something special, something sacred in your life.-George Michael Father Figure

I got my first tattoo when I was sixteen, in a dingy basement , much to the chagrin of my poor mother.  It’s Alice sitting on a mushroom on the back of my neck. Not the least painful place to start, but still, I was hooked.  I spent the next ten years getting more, including most of the other Wonderland characters, a Copyright@1976 ( my version of a tramp stamp), a couple of wrenches around my wrists signifying my chosen profession, my wedding ring, and my children’s names, naturally. I’m not usually in the habit of explaining my tattoos to other people because they  are MY tattoos. I did not get them as a barstool ice breaker, especially if you’re going to touch them or me to initiate that conversation . My latest tattoo has been a bit confusing to some. My friends are concerned maybe I’ve finally “found Jesus” so I figured I’d offer an explanation.

It’s a song lyric by my latest, favorite band 21 Pilots, “Entertain My Faith.”  I owe my decades long best friend, who also owns a tattoo shop, a huge debt for doing the most cliché girl tattoo for me, then also demanding it be only white. (Love you Alicia Cardenas and Sol Tribe!) I saw 21 Pilots live three times last year from the Ogden Theatre in Denver , to Fiddler’s Green Ampitheater in Greenwood Village, to the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago. We brought our kids to the Fiddler’s Green show, they love their music too! Watching Tyler Joseph sing Car Stereo on the roof of the sound board three feet from my son singing the words with him with his arms stretched high, this is my church.

Entertain my faith- Twenty One pilots Holding Onto You

This lyric perfectly describes how music has become a sort of salvation to me, helping me through any rough patches.

Last night a DJ saved my life- Last Night a DJ Saved My Life Indeep

I love the way certain songs always remind me of particular memories, like my life has always had a soundtrack. From George Michael, to Robert Smith, to Jack White, I’ve always had someone to swoon over and worship.

 Lift up the receiver I’ll make you a believer- Personal Jesus Depeche Mode 

I have been to countless concerts and music festivals. The first time I went to Lollapalooza in Chicago, I took an earlier flight and arrived hours before any of my friends. Deciding not to wait for company, I went to the festival alone to check out Manchester Orchestra’s early set. Listening to their hit I’ve Got Friends, feeling alone in a crowd of thousands of strangers, I was able to focus entirely on their songs and realized how powerful music can be.

I believe in spending my money on experiences instead of things. Seeing Jack White perform live anywhere is worth more to me than driving a nicer car. Most of my vacations are planned around music festivals, from Lollapalooza to Firefly to Voodoo to Riotfest to Beale Street. This is my church. Standing in a crowd of thousands, hearing an entire amphitheater  sing with the artist, often with tears streaming down my face is the most cathartic feeling I can imagine. Especially with friends like Jen Greene, who has attended at least a hundred shows with me and shares this obsession.

You and me have seen everything to see, from Bangkok to Calgary, and the soles of your shoes are all worn down- Death Cab For Cutie I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Jen, Bella and I at KTCL’s Big Gig

I’m a total sucker for a sing-a-long. I guess it’s maybe the closest I can feel to some sort of God, the happiness I feel hearing my favorite song, watching countless cellphones and lighters lit up. It’s a church I can believe in, the only kind I want to attend. Sharing this experience with my children is joy on a whole other level. The first time I actually took my son to a church was to see the Flobots perform. They were working with a high school choir, teaching them their songs. Watching these teenagers sing and rap their words so passionately was character defining, the most non-judgmental and powerful church experience I could ever have hoped to share with my child.

If you believe in redemption, I’m calling to you from another dimension. -Rise The Flobots

I’m definitely not trying to disrespect or scorn all the different types of religions out there. To the Texan cheerleader I met today, who saw my new tattoo, read entertain my faith and probably assimilated it with the gold cross around her neck, I’m fine with the misunderstanding. I didn’t want to explain my different beliefs to her. We can all believe in anything we want, from snakes and apples to sold out sing-alongs.

My hubby’s Mother’s Day card to me quoting my fave  Twenty One Pilots!

Lean with it, rock with it

When we gonna stop with it?

Lyrics that mean nothing

We were gifted with thought

Is it time to move our feet

To an introspective beat?

It ain’t the speakers that bump hearts

It’s our hearts that make the beat.

Twenty One  Pilots Holding Onto You