Namaste Bitch! and Other Job Interview Tips
“Long-haired freaky people need not apply”
Signs – Tesla
I recently started a new position as a Mentor/Vehicle Inspector for a ride share company. Instead of driving late night drunks and business men around, I’m performing vehicle inspections for new drivers to ensure their vehicle are safe to drive our passengers. The mentor portion of my job title means I explain the rules for the company and meet the new applicants to determine if they are friendly and capable and would be a good addition to the company. Essentially, I’m not only inspecting your vehicle for safety and cleanliness but our sessions are also a job interview of sorts to make sure our passengers would feel comfortable and safe riding with our new recruits. I have completed hundreds of job interviews in the last six months so I figured I would share some insight on do’s and dont’s for excelling in your next interview.
The Vehicle Inspection
First off, the vehicle inspection. I know this doesn’t apply to everyone but if a vehicle inspection or any kind of personal item inspection is part of the interview process, keep it clean. I’ve had people show up in an ashtray on wheels. His car stank so bad, it gave me heartburn. Speaking of burns, one gentleman was burning incense ON HIS DASHBOARD. You would think burning incense in a moving vehicle during an inspection for a driver position is an obvious no brainier. Unfortunately, some of my applicants were obvious no brainers. One guy was missing door handles on his car! That is alarming especially for female passengers trying to exit your vehicle. If the job calls for a 2004 or newer vehicle, do not show up in a 1998, especially with a cracked windshield, check engine light on and bulbs burnt out. I asked one applicant if he had glass coverage on his insurance because I couldn’t pass his vehicle inspection with a cracked windshield and he replied, “I fucking knew you were going to say that!” To state what should be common sense, don’t swear at your interviewer.
Basic interview tips:
Number one: Show up! I’ve had countless people flake on me. If we schedule a time for your session, no call/no shows are not acceptable. I’m sorry your alarm broke, you laid down with the kids and fell asleep, you thought I meant next Monday, whatever. Flaky people do not pass. That also goes for setting the appointment, especially if you’re applying for a driver position, you might need to drive to the interview. One recruit told me he couldn’t afford to put gas in his car to drive to our session. He asked if I could drive to the Walmart by his house to meet him. You will need gas in your car to drive for this job and no thanks on driving to your Walmart in the ‘burbs.
The Flake
Number two: Show up on time! You will be expected to show up on time every day for your job. The same goes for showing up to your job interview. One man tried to set his appointment “give or take 45 minutes” That is not how interviews work.
Number three: Show up alone. Don’t bring your girlfriend, your best friend, your children or your dogs, unless you’ve cleared it before time. I’m not your babysitter and if your dog attacks me, you’re definitely not getting the job. I had one woman bring her twelve year old son with her to translate because she didn’t speak English. Not to sound insensitive, but speaking English is a job requirement. She wanted her son to drive around with her all the time to translate for her passengers. Unfortunately, ride share requires all your seats to be available for passengers so there’s no room for an interpreter to ride along. Also, ride share companies perform a background check on all their drivers to make sure they are not hiring criminals, but if you’re driving with a friend or spouse, there was no background check performed on your ridealongs to insure customer safety.
Some other tips you might figure would be common sense for job interviews but sadly are not:
Do not call your interview sweetie, darling, or other offensive nickname.s
Do not lean to fart in the middle of an interview, everyone knows what you’re doing.
Do not text your interviewer at 2:00 in the morning to confirm an appointment.
Do not chomp gum or reek of coffee breath, be cognizant of basic hygiene.
Dress to impress. Don’t wear your best hair-covered sweat pants, show some effort.
If you’re not qualified for the job, do not argue with your interviewer over your merits. I had one woman ask me about our policy on DUI’s. Most ride share companies run a DMV check for at least the previous seven years to determine if you’re a safe driver. She had a four year old DUI on her record and wanted to argue or contest this rule, claiming it wasn’t fair to judge her for one mistake.
Namaste bitch!
Do not be politically or racially insensitive during your interview. One girl told me her worst ride share experience ever was with a deaf driver. ” I don’t think you should be able to drive if you’re deaf! I don’t speak sign language, so he kept handing me a blackboard to communicate with.” Most ride share companies employ perfectly capable deaf drivers with positive results so keep your offensive opinions about handi-capable people out of your interview sessions. Part of my vehicle inspection process is to take a short ride with new drivers to assure that they are safe and compliant with common laws. When I told one girl this she laughed and responded, “Don’t worry, I’m not Asian!” Definitely, hide your racism during job interviews. Or don’t be a friggin” racist!
Lastly, I’ll repeat, don’t swear during your interview. I have a potty mouth, big time, but I know better than to curse in professional situations. Especially, if you’re calling your interviewer something derogatory. One boy accidentally sent me a text meant for his friend while he was twenty minutes late for his session. Needless to say, he was a fail.
The Accidental Texter
I may be interviewing soon for a new job myself. If you have more tips, I’d love to hear them!
Also, anyone interested in becoming a rideshare driver, click on my links below to be applicable for up to a $400 sign on bonus. As always, feel free to share thanks!
https://www.lyft.com/drivers/DANA2247
https://partners.uber.com/drive/?invite_code=k69ug